I gave a speech today. It's something I do quite a lot. It means that as long as I'm speaking I don't have to make any decisions. It was about unemployment in Virginia I think so I got to talk about our brave men and women in Iraq and how we have to strangulate terror from our world.

Someone asked me why we weren't getting involved in Sudan then, and I told him that Dan was a nice person and I had no intention of suing him and that kind of talk stops us stopping the bad things that are happening in this world.

Someone hung a banner outside my White House today. It said, 'Can someone just give him a blowjob so we can impeach him?'

Yay! The weekend!

I always look forward to the weekend because I can forget about work and relax on the ranch. Nobody works weekends so I don't see why I should. I decided to ride around the ranch, shoot some of my guns and then meet Charlton Heston for dinner.

I'm having the Halliburton people round tonight for cocktails and so they can tell me what the economic policy should be for the next year. It's all o boring, I wish I could ride my bicycle while they were here and just elave them to it.

Sunday is for church to celebrate the life of our Lord Jesus Christ who died cross at our sins. He also got locked in a cave and had a beard. I wonder if he might know where Osama Bin Laden is?

I think Jesus must have had a bicycle because cars weren't invented yet and he travelled a lot to different places.