As a regular bike commuter, I'm toying with the idea of investing in a bike that'll cost upwards of £1000 - either titanium, or with Rohloff hub gears, or both. But I realise such a bike will be a thief magnet and that any collisions with cars could prove highly expensive. Is it better to just keep on riding my £300 Trek hybrid and maybe lessen the weight a bit with a carbon seatpost or forks? I could have three of those stolen and still not have spent a grand, but a titanium bike would weigh half as much and make me feel like a god. Please advise.
Matt

Dear Matt
Look at it this way: three times the cost of a Trek hybrid with carbon forks and/or seatpost is roughly equivalent to the cost of the titanium dream machine. Thieves are not the brightest of creatures and the carbon forks and/or seatpost are more likely to attract attention than titanium, which is "just" metal, after all. Your pimped Trek will not make you feel like an Adonis, as you could lose more weight by ensuring you defecate thoroughly before riding than you would by replacing a seatpost; and it will still be disappointing should it be stolen. Three times would be three disappointments rather than only one.

Fortunately there is a better solution. The hack bike.

I advise spending the money on the Phil Wood and investing in a really good lock. Then use the really good lock on your unpimped Trek and never, ever leave the Phil Wood unattended where people can besmirch it with their grubby eyes.

I am aware that a Phil Wood with Rohloff hub is likely to cost considerably more than buying an old lump of a Trek hybrid three times. Life is too short to worry about such inconsequentialities.

- - -

I was trying to convince a work colleague to take up cycling to work recently. He currently takes the car, but I'm trying to convince him he can cycle the one mile distance. So far his excuses have included: it's raining; he needed to walk the dogs on the way; he likes Terry Wogan; and the roads are dangerous because there are so many cars on them. What can I do to convince him?
Roger

Dear Roger
Sadly some people are beyond help. They live in a world where Radio 2 is the only thing for which one is paying one's licence fee. When they hear that a train has been delayed by leaves on the track they nod their heads sagely and mutter about how leaves are all wrong these days and it was much better back when everyone wore pullovers and slacks. Frankly I think 6 months doing National Service would give some mettle to these spineless excuses for human beings, however Mr Raven tells me I am a hopeless optimist.

In some cases all one can do is find a way to steal the distributor cap the evening before an important meeting and then turn up with a spare machine and a helpful grin in the morning.

An acquaintance of mine tells me hypnosis can be successful, if done properly, but she has certain assets not found in the average home.