.suralon smug needs a new apprentice mechanic in his chain of international bike stores - six people are competing to work for the glummest bicycle boss in the business, but who will be the next apprentice?

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It's 6am and the would-be apprentices are woken from their slumber on the floor of a bike warehouse by a phonecall from Suralon. Michael, a podiatrist from Grimsby who has spent the night sleeping on a pile of Campagnolo Record rear mechs is the first to the phone. "I can't be there right now," it's Suralon, "because I'm feeling too grumpy today and this is pre-recorded so I'm actually asleep right now. Today I want you to make loads of money by fixing punctures for people. And clean your hands before coming to the boardroom."

Carl, a London investment banker, takes immediate charge of the three boys. "Right guys, what we need to do here is focus and make sure we're all singing off the same hymn sheet in order to get our ducks in a row.... an hour passes... so it's a level playing field and we can prioritise and move this forward while going ahead." Carl rides a Specialized Langster.

Brad interrupts, "Carl," he asks, "do you know how to fix a puncture?" A moment's hesitation from Carl. "F***... Well maybe we should start there eh?"

But Carl is immediately back into his stride, "Okay, but what we need here is a clear strategy. We've got to make money here guys, and time is money and time is tight so money is like a pair of jeans you've worn in the bath."