Madam
Raven is our new cycling agony aunt - if you have
a question email it to madameraven@citycycling.co.uk
.i
have a brompton and find roadies laughing at me at
traffic lights. what should I do?
As
the Brompton, although a splendid machine, is not
known for its fast acceleration, I would advise positioning
yourself carefully so that with one well-timed shove
you can topple the lot. At this point sprint away
from the lights giggling. As soon as you are out of
sight disguise yourself as a pedestrian and lose yourself
in the throng until said roadies have passed, as being
caught by them at this stage may prove unsettling.
The next day wear a disguise. False beards, noses
and spectacles are traditional. The Groucho Marx cigar
is a matter of personal choice. If they laugh at you,
do the same thing. It is called negative stimulus
conditioning, and after a few days they should have
learned not to laugh at people on Bromptons.
Alternatively
you could try the water bottle technique. Victoria
Stillwell, that most luscious doyenne of canine education,
seems to have great success with it.
.my
bike won't fit in the back of my hatchback, should
I buy an SUV?
I
believe this to be a euphemism. What qualities are
important to you in the choosing of a suitable mate
are none of my business and quite frankly I would
ask you not to trouble me with them again.
