Hi - I’m Twaycee Byker. I’m 13 and I don’t live with a normal family. I call my home the Bike Dumping Ground. I blame my dad. He’s got a bike obsession. When I was five I asked him, “Dad. Why haven’t we got a car?”

“Shut up Twaycee and keep pedalling!” was what he said. He’s soooo mean!! He just doesn’t understand . Going by bike was ok until my friends started slagging me off.

“Look at Twaycee everyone. She’s on her little diddy bike because her family’s too poor to have three cars!! Twaycee’s a loser. Twaycee’s a loser. Twaycee’s aarrgghhh!!”

At that point I lost it and gently tapped Courtney Chav-in-Waiting with the Kryptonite lock that I won at the ‘Let’s Get Cycling’ event when I was only six. I didn’t care as she deserved it but after that I left the bike at home for a few days.