DOING THE KESSEL RUN IN 12 PARSECS: WHY TRAFFIC-JAMMING IS FUN

According to Wikipedia:

"The Kessel Run is a pathway from planet Kessel past the dangerous Maw Black Hole Cluster, then through 'The Pit' before finishing in a jump to light speed in the fictional Star Wars galaxy used frequently by smugglers in the transport of precious Glitterstim spice."

I'm of an age to have seen the original Star Wars as it was when Han shot first. I was young enough to be bowled over by the spectacular grandeur of the melodramatic space opera without spotting that it was opera or melodramatic. Not so young, however, that I couldn't spot that Luke Skywalker wasn't someone I'd want to sit next to in class and the character I'd most like to have as a best friend was Chewie. He had wit and the intelligence and I was sure he'd be able to keep us both amused at playtime.

Being something of a precocious child I was well-read enough even then to find Han's boastful declaration that he made the Kessel Run in "less than twelve parsecs" confusing. Everyone knows that a parsec is a measure of distance, not speed, right? It's the distance travelled by light in a vacuum in one second. Eny fule kno that boasting about making a distance between two points is hardly worthy. Lucas finally explained Han's comment by saying that travelling through hyperspace in the Star Wars universe requires careful navigation to avoid planets, asteroids and other obstacles, and thus the fastest ship is the one that can plot the most direct course and travel the shortest distance. The only other person who has ever made something of finding the shortest distance in the world of fiction, to my knowledge, is Stephen King. He wrote a story called "Mrs Todd's Shortcut" and the eponymous protagonist would not have batted an eye at Han's claim. She was obsessed with finding short-cuts. Being a horror story this had predictable results involving weird hyper-dimensions and grisly beasts.

Which brings us to cycling.