CONTRAFLOW with Bobby McWheeler - the big man in a SmallCar®
Bobby tackles the menace of young drivers and misuses the English language

Anthony (the Ed) has now issued me with a challenge. ‘Write less and try not to waffle’. If I fail to do this, Contraflow will, dear reader, sadly go the way of the high wheeled bicycle and the mighty, pointless Humvee 4x4. Both curiosities that don’t work properly (ok, the bicycle did for a while!) So not really a challenge though - more of a threat.

This issue I’m looking at young drivers and why they have so many accidents. To explain how young people drive have a look at this item culled from my local rag’s petrol-headed online forum.

Take a deep breath and prepare to be stunned... very stunned.

‘just another bike facist i cannot afford a car so no one else should have one today i had one of these idiots run into the back of my car he went up in the air and was lucky as neither the rider or bike were damaged he then remonstrated with me f#@% i had indicated right and he decided to overtake me at the same time hence the incidence reinsert head up orifce fella the internal combustion engine is reality and the lifestyle you live is dependant on it’
William, Edinburgh 4 Sep 2006

Reading this is almost as good an aerobic exercise as cycling. I wonder though if the lack of structure in the ‘wronged party’s’ writing is mirrored in the way he drives? As someone once said, full stops are the red lights of the English language. Maybe it’s a coded message or was texted while William was driving.