CONTRAFLOW with Mhairi McFocall
Mhairi (pronounced Vari) McFocall is a fluent Gaelic speaker but also writes in Doric and Scots. Her work has been published in The Sunday Post and the Scots Magazine. The editor asks you to respect her views and hope they provide a valuable insight into the mindset of the modern elderly motorist.

Bobby McWheeler is on holiday. Or in hiding.

Ciamar a tha thu? Greetings from Inverness - Europe’s fastest growing city with loads of easy-to-drive-to shopping centres around the edge and a wee bitty of Gaelic culture and a great M&S in the centre. And let me tell you that all this has been achieved without bikes. Aye that’s right. We get on just dandy here withoot all this bike nonsense. Och don’t get me wrong. I did a wheen o cycling in my younger years. Back then in the 30s, cars were just for thae rich folk. But noo it’s a’ changed and for the guid in my view. Now Bobby would hae you believe that he’s a’ for the poor old motorist. But he’s a’ mooth an nae troosers! Whit a blether.

Edinburgh you see is no normal. All yon parliament and lap dancing bars. Bobby, get your wee car up here, if you can, and find oot aboot real driving in a city where bikes know their place - in the garden shed ready for the yearly bike ride. Aye you heard me richt. I ken you think I’m just some daft old woman but I do endure a wee cycle noo and then. Just so as to remind me why I bought a Toyota Hi-Lux. Man what a beast of a wagon that is!

If yon wee car of yours can’t make it the whole way just gie me a wee call and we’ll pop it on the back at Perth. I don’t mind telling you that I was fair scunnered with a’ these skittery wee cars that I had before.