George W Bush has taken this month off as he has been far too busy ridding the world of terror to ride his bicycle. Standing in his place we have the UK's very own cyclo-political guru, Boris Johnson

Gosh yes. Erm. Righto. Cycling. Yes. And St Partick's day today. Lots of Irish people in Liverpool. I'm sure they're lovely. Absolutely. Lots of Guinnes and a few fights before home to eat some potatoes. Marvellous.

Knew an Irishman once.

One has to wonder about tourists, they seem to have a veritable death wish as I approach on my bicycle. No matter how much I shout at them to get out of the way in the park as I cycle through they never seem to clear up their picnics in time and I always end up riding through a Victoria sponge or battenburg cake.

I'm considering asking Red Ken to hand out a leaflet to all tourists as they arrive in this great country of ours explaining that cyclists can appear at any time on the road, pavements or in parks and should not be hit over the head with Union Jack emblazoned croquet mallets if one happens to cycle over their sunbathing grandmother.

Mind you, he is from that other lot so probably thinks they have a basic human right. Well what about the human rights of cyclists say I!