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It was around 2009 that objectors to pedestrianisation were dismissed (using a phrase popular at the time) as "being as stupid Bush voters".

Number 2.2: "speeding fines are just a way for the government to make money

Response:

.it is not actually outrageous for the government to spend the fines paid by speeding motorists on public works instead of the alternative of (presumably) burning it in a big pile of tenners.

.the fine might just have something to do with breaking the law.

.statistics reveal that less than one motorist received a fine for not acting illegally in the period 2000-2010. He is now in counselling.

Chapter 5: Car Driver Treatment Programmes

Number 5.1: Aversion therapy. Subjects were restrained, and forced to view images along the following lines:

.images of female drivers reverse parking. An extreme electric shock was applied to the genital area for each 'hilarious' comment. This course had a very low pass rate.

.graphic pictures of a driver hesitating at a traffic light without a driver behind honking furiously in protest at the 1.5 seconds of his life that had been so outrageously stolen from him.

Number 5.6: A New Hope for Motorists.

Suitably retrained, the former addictive car drivers have been found useful work in the community. One, a previously hopeless specimen known only as "Jeremy" is now deployed by HM Customs & Excise as a sniffer dog. Smugglers have taken to burying cars in railway wagons full of ordinary domestic cocaine. Jeremy has proved most effective in detecting the cocaine trucks concealing their illicit contraband of motor cars intended for private use.

.the end...


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