.though
shalt not ride on the pavement
But you will won't
you, and Gladys will write to the local paper exclaiming
that all cyclists should be given the birch because
they scare yound children and poke little puppies
with pointy sticks...
.thou
shalt not bear false fitness against thy neighbour
Do
not, under any circumstances, when going out for a ride,
tell people you haven't been out for a while and might
find this a bit difficult, only to drop everyone you're
riding with on the first incline while starting to hum
the Eye of the Tiger. It's not nice.
Equally,
if you tell everyone you're brilliant and finish your
first 10 mile time trial in 3 days and 17 minutes, well,
you're going to look a knob.
.thou
shalt covet thy neighbour's bikes
In
fact covetousness is positively encouraged. No matter
how much we fight it there will lways be that moment,
waiting at the head of a set of traffic lights, when
someone pulls up alongside you on a rather special bike.
And no matter how much you don't want your jealousy
to show you will always let slip a slight whistle of
satisfaction, a grin of realisation, or a mutter of
'nice bike' to which the recipient of such compliment
will accept graciously and carry on his way with a warm
glow.
But
don't try to have a gander at bikes on roof racks while
driving at 70 on the motorway. That way only ruin lies.
And
lo did the commandments of god be written, and shall
it be said that the bike shall inherit the earth, for
we are all the childern of god.
Except
Moultoneers.
They're
weird...
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