SatNav - another great reason why driving is fun and easy. SatNav is great. And I bet you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Check this link and learn...

Mine tells me to turn left in a lovely female voice - even if there is a bike lane with a push-bike on it. Only an art student though, on a bike with basket so of little economic value (Ed informs me that these bicycles are 3 speed and have no brakes. If I took a car out in that condition it would be illegal. In many ways they deserve all they get!). I never question technology. SatNav says turn left and that's what I do straight in front of the contraption. She just about dropped her folio! I know you pedal pushers will think that's bad but would anyone with half a brain rely on two feet of painted tarmac to protect a vehicle with no brakes and cycle with one hand?! Cycle lanes do work well for me though. Every Sunday the hard working UK motorist can park on most of them legally. Bus lanes are also a useful weapon in the armoury of a motorist in a hurry. Nothing wrong with using them at all. If you think about it logically, I'm taking my car out of a queue in one street and cutting down traffic congestion. Try as you might, you can't be in two places at once - though Jeremy Clarkson came close when he drove the mighty 5 litre Aston Martin Vantage for the BBC across Europe!

So this harms no-one and is not a crime. I also think it¹s worth doing just to strike a blow for the freedom of the downtrodden motorist. It angers me to see them forced to queue because of some pointless traffic management scheme - yet another good reason to take the bus lane. I¹ve been stopped once in the last five years. You take the risk and generally it works - one fine over five years to use bus lanes is cheaper than most congestion charge schemes! But what of push-bikes I hear you say? Look, I'm still on a learning curve here. Just trying to hold the line for common-sense. Not a
lot to say about push-bikes except you'd really be safer pushing them and keeping off busy roads! And every part of the world is turning to cars now - look at the Chinese. When councils attempt to increase cycling it¹s usually pure deception. I reckon there's about twenty people payed by most councils to cycle round town. And they're all old and worn out from self-imposed stress. Yes - it's official car drivers might live shorter lives but they're happy and well balanced unlike some of the crazy people I see riding about. BMX bikers don't count as they ride on pavements which I also hate. Cycle couriers spend most of the time sat down doing nothing. They also cycle on pavements so don't count. Police on bikes? A publicity stunt and very unpopular with the boys in blue who prefer sittiing in their cars at Spud-u-Like. In fact I've never actually seen one - as a motorist I regular drive red lights and bus lanes, safe in the knowledge that the police are busy with more important stuff.

Anyway to round up, I reckon anyone with the balls should be able to use bus lanes as long as their car is not too flash and is on proper business. Know that can't be regulated but neither can driving using a mobile phone whilst under the influence of drugs. The real problem is with non-car people getting in the way. The governemnt, to be fair knows this, and that's why middle class motorists will be allowed to speed if they feel the need. CityCycling should help by pointing out the dangers of using the streets and how to make yourself scarce whenever you can. Some cities are looking at banning bikes and maybe it would be sensible at busy times as traffic levels continue to rise. The average normal person scrimps and saves to put alloys and a rear spoiler on their Focus and deserves the right to use it without feeling criminalised.

toot toot

B McW

Bobby McWheeler is here to answer your cycling questions
Just drop a line to bobby@citycycling.co.uk - the best questions will appear in the next issue