Starting a meme on Twitter can be fun, and lead to a right good laugh - so a little while ago we started #bikemanagementphrases and this is what the good people of Twitter came up with!

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Okay guys, I'm glad you could all make it to the meeting. I've just had a look at the latest figures, and I have to say, the brake pads are squealing... We've rushed the bar tape and I need to know how we fix it. I need everyone soigneuring off the same hymn sheet.

You're right Martin, there's a headwind and we're not getting aero. I'd suggest we need to get off the cyclepath with this one. Really, we need to ride high on the banking, watch over our shoulders and drop in when the bell rings, because, if I'm being honest, we can't win the Tour de France on Boris Bikes.

Whoah! Sorry Martin, I think Brian is off the back on this one. Really we've got an office full of allen keys when what we need is a torque wrench.

Come on Simeon, stop giving me the Duffield and cut to the Kelly.

Hey, it's important to remember we're riding a tandem here. But I'm not the stoker. I think we're trying to solve a Campagnolo problem with a Shimano solution. We really need to push the big chainring on this one.

Okay, let's put some mudguards on that idea and ride through some puddles.

But Martin, I'm not sure that will work, we don't want to bring a BMX to a time trial because basically we're all out of patches and we've just got a puncture. We just need to index the gears and it'll be ready.

Hmmmm. The saddle nose is sticking up on that one, we don't want to put our hands in the air till we've crossed the finish line.

Okay, maybe you're right, let's just lean this question on its kickstand for a minute.

You're right, I'm clicking the shifter, but the mechs not engaging.

Hold on, why don't we just get M&S to deliver a selection of sandwiches? That way everyone gets what they want?

Excellent! That idea's pedalling squares!